


What The Heart Wants

by khazadspoon



Category: Justice League
Genre: Angst, Gen, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-31
Updated: 2014-01-31
Packaged: 2018-01-10 17:16:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1162388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/khazadspoon/pseuds/khazadspoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's in love with his best friend. But it has to be enough, just to be there when Hal needs him; right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	What The Heart Wants

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to tumblr as a drabble request. It was both fun and horrible to write because I don't want to hurt my babies but at the same time I do.

Hal was in deep space, something to do with Sinestro (again) and a new emergence of Yellow Lanterns. He’d been gone a week and a half.

Barry hated it when Hal was gone.

He was sure Carol hated it more, though. And she had the right to; she was the one with a ring on her finger that told the world she and Hal were together, not Barry.

So, instead of moping around in his apartment and taking sick days like the first time he’d been away from Hal for extended periods of time after realising he was  _in love with his best friend_ , Barry worked.

He got up every morning at 6am. He made himself breakfast, sometimes eggs and bacon, sometimes French toast, sometimes just cereal. Then he had a shower. Every few days he’d take a really long shower, just stand under the spray of water for as long as it stayed warm and let it run down his body. It was cathartic, in a way. He’d always wondered what Superman had meant by letting the world wash away when you had a shower; he understood now, though.

After all that he’d get dressed and head to work. Sometimes there was a homicide to investigate, that took up most of Barry’s time (and let him stay away from his apartment which seemed too big without Hal crashing on his sofa) but some days it was slow. He’d talk to his co-workers, get gossip and buy lunches, generally just _do_  work.

It wasn’t quite like saving the world with Hal, though, and that sucked.

After three weeks of simply existing, Barry’s world brightened. Hal came back from Oa.

He had a recently set broken arm and a fractured rib. Barry wanted to rush over and ask what the  _hell_  had happened out there, but Hal would just brush it off as a “hazard of the job”. Again.

“I know that look,” Hal said when J’onn let him out of the Watchtower’s medical ward. “You’re worried.”

“Yes, Hal, I’m worried,” He hissed back, some of his three-week-long mood bubbling to the surface. “You go out there doing  _god knows_  what and come back black and blue. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Hal looked a little sheepish, a small smile curling his lips up. “I know… But I’m fine, Barry, I swear.”

“Just… don’t do anything stupid till you’re better, ok?” Barry uncrossed his arms and walked to the transporters. Hal didn’t try and stop him. Before he stepped onto the pad, Barry turned and gave Hal a wobbly smile. “Fancy pizza and a couple of beers tonight?”

“Can’t, sorry. I’m taking Carol out for a meal. It was our anniversary on Tuesday!” A bright grin. Barry ignored the stabbing pain in his chest and returned the smile. He hoped it looked more convincing than it felt.

“Of course, um… Well you’ve got my number,” And his email. And a spare key to his apartment. Hal had everything Barry could give him.

“I’ll drop by in the week, we can catch up then!” Hal grimaced as he twisted his torso, Barry almost ran back to him to ask what was wrong but the Lantern stood up straight again and waved at him. “One to beam down?”

That made him smile. “Energize.”

Then he was back in Central City, speeding into his civvies, and walking down the high street. He wandered a little, glad he had the day off work to just  _be_ , and found himself in the park. He sat on a bench and put his head in his hands, letting out a harsh groan he hoped didn’t scare the kids playing with the ducks.

So he was in love with his best friend who was married to his childhood sweet heart and had been for three years. Not an ideal situation, but Barry had been managing it well. He’d been on a few dates; Iris had been interested. They’d gone to dinner a few times. Barry had genuinely liked her, they had laughed and joked and he had almost forgotten about Hal lying in bed with his  _wife,_ but it just hadn’t _gone_  anywhere.  

He sat on the bench for a good twenty minutes, ignoring the cold wind slowly chilling his bones, and kept his head in his hands for at least 15 of those minutes.

Footsteps caught his ear from his left. When he looked up, a guy in a really terribly fitting suit sat next to him.

“Hey, you alright?” The man asked, pushing his glasses up his nose. Barry almost ignored him, but something about the sheer honest interest in the strangers face made him look up and shake his head.

“Not exactly, no,” He said quietly. The stranger gave him a small smile and rested his elbows on his knees, mirroring Barry’s posture.

“Need to talk about it?”

“That… that would be good, yeah,” Barry rubbed his hands together and took a deep breath. “I’m in love with my best friend.”

“Ah…”

“Who’s married.”

“Oh. Well… that is a tricky one,” The stranger shook his head slightly. “Does she know? That you love her.”

“ _He_  doesn’t, no,” Barry corrected. A sympathetic hum from his new found friend. “I don’t think it would be appreciated, he’s been married three years now. What right do I have to rock the boat, huh?”

“You don’t, really, but you can’t help what you feel.”

Barry hummed in agreement; the guy was right. He’d put off telling Hal how he felt before he’d gotten engaged, he couldn’t just blurt it out now, could he?

“If it helps, you’re not the only one in that situation,” The guy said, a strange look on his face. Barry thought he recognised him for a moment, but he couldn’t put his finger on  _why_. “Or a similar one, at least.”

“You got a screwed up love life too, huh?”

“Mmhm, but I’m used to it.”

They sat quietly for a few minutes, watching the ducks quack and run towards parents with impatient children carrying bags of bread.

“I’m Barry, by the way,” Barry put his hand out with a smile. The stranger, with his really terrible suit, took it with a bright grin Barry was sure he’d seen before and shook it firmly.

“Clark, nice to meet you, Barry,” He said with a friendly voice. Barry couldn’t help but smile a little wider. He felt better. Maybe unrequited love wasn’t quite as terrible as it seemed?

Another comfortable silence. Barry felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

_Dinner’s cancelled. Carol has work; pizza and a movie?_  It was Hal. Barry sat back against the bench and sighed quietly.

_Sure. You’re buying. Sci-Fi or horror?_

Clark dusted his knees and turned his head sharply. “Oh, I forgot I’ve got a train to catch. It was nice meeting you Barry, hope everything works out for you,” He smiled brightly and stood, hand reaching for his tie as he left.

“Yeah,” Barry nodded, “you too.”

Then he was alone.

_Horror. I’ve had enough of space for one month. Meat Feast?_

_You know me too well._  Barry put his phone away after replying. He’d have to tidy up his place before Hal came over, there was washing on the living room floor and dishes in the sink. But Hal never seemed to mind. With a quiet groan and stiff legs, Barry stood and walked the half hour to his building.

He was just happy the Flash wasn’t needed. He didn’t think he’d be on top of his game if someone decided to rob a bank or hold up the metro station again. But he kept the ring on just in case; you never knew with some of the guys he encountered.

The clothes went in the hamper, the dishes were cleaned and stacked, and Barry was sat on the couch with a beer in one hand when his door opened.

Hal strode in with confident steps, arm still in a sling but with a smile on his face, and kicked the door shut behind him.

“I’ve told you about that,” Barry shot him a half-hearted glare.

“Sorry, I’ll remember-“

“Next time, yeah, you say that every time,” He ignored the spike in his pulse as Hal flopped onto the couch next to him and leaned into his space. Hal was warm, his hair was slightly damp and he smelled of sandalwood and something vaguely citrus-y. He’d probably showered before heading over.

“Missed you, buddy,” Hal whispered, head leaning on Barry’s shoulder. The blond felt his breath catch and hoped Hal didn’t hear.

“I missed you too,” He replied quietly, taking a swig of his beer. “Warn me before disappearing for a month next time though, ok?”

“It wasn’t a month, Barry.”

“Near enough.”

Hal huffed a breath and moved away; Barry didn’t move with him like he wanted to. “Okay, fine, next time I’ll warn you as best I can.”

“That’s more like it,” Barry smiled at his friend and took out his phone. “Want me to order now, or later?”

“Now, I’m  _starving_! Carol would have made me wait another hour, I’m so glad you eat so often.”

Barry’s chest tightened. But, he dialled the number and gave Hal another half-hearted glare.

He could do this, he reminded himself. He could be Hal’s friend and nothing more. 


End file.
